Patience

The dictionary definition: the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

I think I am a patient person, for the most part. My husband agrees, for the most part. My students' report I am patient in my evaluations. However, last night I did not feel patient, I didn't want to be patient. I wanted to yell, scream, slam things. I didn't, but I did act outwardly grumpy. I didn't even try to hide it. So this morning I thought of different times my patience is called upon.
- my children in general
- my spouse
- my students as they learn at their own pace
- my colleagues
- my animals
- waiting in lines
- driving
- losing weight
- healing an injury

What if today and on forward I decided not to exercise patience in a way that I have defined myself to myself and others. The new Michelle would let everyone know how she feels when something is not going her way. Well this morning I contemplated this change in my persona. If I were to let that happen, my life would probably unravel very quickly. My relationships with my children, my marriage, my job, my friends and more casual relationships would likely change too. In yoga this morning we talked about the fact that so many horrible things are happening in the world, and how we have little control over the world (our personal world let alone the global world) with the exception of ourselves. And this leads me to my personal definition of patience. Patience is me not losing control of myself over things I cannot control .