Obligations

Today I put together Kris' birthday package. A card, 100 dollars and her car registration papers. She still has not changed her address with DMV . She had let her insurance lapse, I hope they have got some since then. I know they have bought some expensive video gaming equipment and she is getting an iPhone for her birthday (all info thanks to FB) . So, I guess they must be doing okay, or they have their priorities totally fucked up.

That is not really what this is about, it is more our obligations to her and hers to us. Are there any remaining? She came up in December because of a fight with Noah. She was here almost the entire time Mark and I were in Mexico. She made up with him ( After 30 dollars worth of phone calls on our home line)and was going to leave about 12 hours before we returned. My mother-in-law told her she had to stay, at least to say hi. She did and left the next day pretty early. She didn't feel obligated to come up for my step-dads funeral, she didn't even send my mother a note or email until I harassed her. While my step dad was not always the most charming person, he actually got her started on golf and was very supportive of her progress. In the past two years, she sent Mark and I texts on our birthdays, as well as Mother's Day and Father's Day. We will see this year. Mark has definitely been more emotionally hurt by her seemingly lack of interest in us. The last three times we went to see her in Coos Bay she was less than a gracious hostess. That is actually a huge understatement as she would barely respond, she changed plans (without telling us), and was consistently late (hours) without letting us know what is going on. She has lied a lot to us. She has went against her word, I even feel she has used us on occasion. I think Mark is done and I can't say I blame him. She has acted even more coldly to him over the last few years for no apparent reason. Cold might be the wrong word, it is disinterested, I guess. It is all hard to watch, we have been there for her. Noah has not for several pivotal occasions such as the birth of their child. Yet she has chosen her life with him. I am not sure if she wants us in her life any longer? She doesn't act like it. So do I keep sending her birthday cards even if I don't hear from her? Do I wait for the day I get an "Not at this address" returned letter? I do know that I don't want to be the one to do the final cut of our relationship. I will send her and Aiden cards, I will keep inviting her up for Christmas and other big events until she either rejoins our family or leaves it forever. I will keep to my obligations of how I think family should be treated, I will make her be the one to make the choice not to know us anymore.