Pain

I know it can be useful. As a person who tends to burn myself a lot while cooking, the pull away reflex is quite useful. I think pain is impossible to compare from person to person. Two people have headaches, whose is worse? My husband suffers from chronic pain, and it is impossible for me to understand how he feels. I have tried by observation. He gets a head cold and is kind of whiny, so I think perhaps he has a low pain tolerance. On the other hand, I have sat with him after recovering through multiple surgeries, and then watched him through the rehabilitation process, and would say he has a very high pain tolerance. On the occasion I have woke up with one of those awful kinks in my neck I think about him. The pain is an annoyance for a day or two, and I know it affects my mood. I wonder if that is how he feels every day all day.
Some mornings we wake and everything is fine and then somewhere during the day the pain sets in, and he will become quiet and brooding. Some days the dark mood is morning from night, and some days everything is okay. The bad days are becoming more frequent. No matter how many times we go through this I still jump to the conclusion that his dark mood is caused by me or something I have done. Then he says, no it is the pain. We are looking at options now on how to deal with the chronic pain. Time magazine says we are coming into a renaissance period of pain management. Oh, I hope so! If something doesn't help him, we both know it will eventually take a toll on our relationship and marriage. The chronic pain is like a dreary cloud cover over us, it is oppressive. Some days I just feel like running away from the dark and towards the sun. Which creates and emotional pain for me for even entertaining such thoughts.